I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
