I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
