Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is classic penis vs brain.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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