you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
