I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
