Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
