We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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