Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
