the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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