Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
