dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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