No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
