Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
