made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
