Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
