I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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