I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
