pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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