rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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