There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
