im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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