Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
