No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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