Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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