so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
