and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
me + whiskey = a bad person
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
