The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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