people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
