he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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