Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
