so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
