you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
