I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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