uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
