he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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