You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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