I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you inspire me to be a worse person
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
