she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
