It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
