I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
