At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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