Banned from zoo.
Again?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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