There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
