I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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