he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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