I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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