I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
