Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
