paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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