3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
