i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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