There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
